One Year Ago Today...

I remember...

Being in an extreme amount of pain (that came and went, which surprised me... as difficult as the pain was, I really didn't expect the periods of relief in between contractions) .

Thinking I "tricked" my doctor into admitting me after my second trip to the hospital telling them I was in labor. The nurse told me "you are going to have your baby today!" and I remember thinking "Yes! They bought it!"

Loving the bath and shower and the relief in provided to my labor pains.



Jacob's heart rate dropping with each contraction until finally the doctor and nurses lost Jacob's heart tones completely and prepared for an emergency cesarean section and thinking I lost the person who meant more to me than anyone in my whole life, yet I had never even met. I just kept thinking I can't believe I've come so far to lose it all now. Amazingly I held it together until we finally found those amazing heart tones... of course afterwards I lost it, bawling hysterically to which one very wise nurse informed me "we can't hear your baby's heart if you keep crying like that", never in my life have I tried harder to regain my composure.

Being INSANELY jealous when peeking in on all the other Families in their maternity rooms, enjoying their babies and feeling like I had SO FAR to go before our baby would be born.

Hearing my nurse tell me "He's really good, you know" when referring to Aaron as a labor and delivery coach... "They aren't all like that".

My doctor running between my room and the room next door as we were both delivery babies at the same time and assuring me that she was keeping a close eye on Jacob, despite catching a placenta in the next room

Thinking things CAN'T be going right... after all I've been pushing for like 30 minutes, aren't most babies born after like 3 good pushes?! I've given at least 5 good pushes!!

Feeling an enormous sense of calmness when Jacob was finally born.

I've got to say... as uncomfortable as pregnancy and childbirth were, I would do it all over again in an instant.

What a miracle.