A few Christmas Pictures

Friday Funny

I came across this on a message board and had to share...

Thinking of Having Kids? Do this 11 step program first!

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.

2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.

3. Go home.

4. Pick up the paper.

5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...

1. Methods of discipline.

2. Lack of patience.

3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.

4. Allowing their children to run wild.

5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.

Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)

2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.

3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.

4. Set the alarm for 3AM.

5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.

6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.

7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.

8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.

9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.

2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.

3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.

4. Then rub them on the clean walls.

5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.

6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.

2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.

Leave it there.

2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.

3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.

4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.

2. Make a small hole in the side.

3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.

4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.

5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.

6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Austin is ONE!!!

Let's breakdown the numbers from today's 12 month well child visit for Austin! Here we go:

Weight: 19lbs 2oz - 5th percentile

Height: 28 3/4 " - 25th percentile

Head circ: 47 1/2 cm - 75th percentile

Shots: 4

Blood test for lead levels: 5 (anything under 10 is acceptable)

Ear Infections: 2

Austin's well child appointment went great, despite the surprise double ear infections! She said she is hesitant in general to treat asymptomatic ear infections (although he has had a slight runny nose that I attributed to teething), but both ears just looked pretty darn infected so we came home with a script. She wasn't concerned at all about his (lack of) weight and just commented that although he is on the low end, his weight continues to make a nice curve on the chart. He waved bye-bye to the doctor and then gave her a high-five (show-off) and then cried for his shots but calmed down immediately when I picked him up and he found his thumb :)

After the appointment we headed to Meijer to fill his prescription and pick up some groceries. You would have thought Austin was wearing a birthday hat because we got stopped several times by people wanting to visit with Austin. All of them commented on what a happy, content baby he was and were shocked when I said "Yes, especially considering he has two ear infections and just had four immunizations!" He's my little ham! A little more shy than Brody was but he definitely plays up that coy card!

So despite Austin's weight, the kid eats us out of house and home. I think our grocery bill has increased by $35/week! That may not seem like very much at first, but remember the kid has barely doubled his birth weight and he is a year old (most babes double their birth weight by 6 months)! And while we can certainly afford an extra $35/week right now, it's got me terrified for his teenage years when he really starts to eat! I think all of my grocery shopping will be done at Sam's Club when my three sons are teenagers... Lord, help us!

Ok, so what else about Austin... he fits pretty well in most 12 month clothes. Wears a size 3 diaper, never leaks out of it. Goes to bed around 8pm, wakes around 6am for milk and then sleeps another 2-3hrs. He's a fast crawler. Stands up holding on to most anything, but not too much into cruising. Hasn't stood on his own yet without holding anything, but he will walk with a walker. He has seven teeth and almost the same amount of hairs on his head ;) He is ALL baby and I really appreciate that he is growing up slowly for me - despite the fact that this year flew by!

Here's how his brothers looked at 12 months:

Brody:

Height: 30.25" - 75th

Weight: 22lbs - 35th

Head: Off the charts

Jacob:

Height: 50th

Weight: 20lbs 9oz - 10th

Head: 90th

This Mornings Conversation

Me: Jacob, Do you know what today is?
Jacob: Yes! It's Austin's birthday!
Me: That's right! Do you know how old he is?
Jacob: One!... but why does he still look like a baby?

Happy Birthday to my little angel, Austin!!!
We have a well child appointment this afternoon, I'll update then!

Merry Christmas!

Mod Snowflakes Christmas Card

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Merry Christmas, everyone! We had a very nice little Christmas. Aaron had to work a lot this year, so we managed to celebrate with my family on the 23rd and then came home (by 4pm, since Aaron was on call) on Christmas Eve. We had a quiet Christmas Eve and then opened Christmas gifts early in the morning before Aaron headed to work at 8am. He was sad to leave, but the nice thing about living on site is that he didn't have to walk out the door until 7:57am and then we got to see him at lunch as well. Normally I would say he is home just after 4pm, but he was a little late today as they are getting ready to move fish (which helped make his day fly by, since he was very busy!). Luckily, my parents came by this afternoon to keep me and the boys company.

This Christmas felt very special to me because the boys are at such wonderful ages for believing in the magic of Christmas. This Christmas will also stand out to me because Jacob could read (recognize) the names on the name tags to distribute the gifts. It's just amazing how fast they grow and learn!

Pics from Boyne

Brody getting ready to hit the slopes. He bailed before we reached the magic carpet, "Too cold, Mom!" - It was really cold and windy!:


Jacob and Aaron heading to the slopes. It was even a bit cold for Jacob, he went down the bunny hill just a few times.

View from our room:
Indoor portion of the indoor/outdoor pool
Brody:
Running towards the pool!




Austin all tuckered out:
Austin ready for a bath!

Boyne Mountain

I frequently check out what timeshares are available through my parents and this past summer when I came across a three bedroom at The Mountain Grand at Boyne I jumped on it! We knew the weather would be hit or miss this time of year, but luckily things turned out in our favor. We packed up everything except the kitchen sink and headed out on Friday after Jacob's enrichment.

After a few stops to drop off the dog and pick up groceries we arrived about 4pm and unloaded the ridiculous amount of things we brought with us. The room is great, two stories with a cute little bunk bed kids room. Austin is learning how to do stairs here, not sure if that is a good thing or bad thing! (We did bring a gate, however). After a quick dinner of pizza we headed to the waterpark and Jacob and Brody reacted in typical fashion. Jacob was extremely cautious and I think he managed to keep his hair dry the entire time. Brody was running around like crazy, zig-zagging about as every thing he saw caught his eye and attention. He was soaked from head to toe before we could even get his robe off. I even managed to take him on one of the big waterslides but unfortunately I lost control on a crazy corner and ended up laying on my back with him laying on his back on top of me. He was having a ball up until that happened and then, not so much. He got a big gulp of water and needless to say I couldn't get him to go on it again. I barely managed to take any photos - having 3 kids means zone defense instead of man-to-man coverage and with Brody's amazing juking skills, the kids clearly had the advantage. (Thank God for lifeguards! We didn't need them, but I'm glad they are there!). The few times I did pull out the camera, the pictures didn't come out well because the kids were moving too fast! I need to hire a personal photographer to follow us around I think. Anyways, the surprise of the evening was Austin's reaction to the water. He LOVES bathtime so I thought he would be all over it but instead he preferred to be held. I think that maybe the water was just a tad cold for him. Despite staying there for 2.5 hours, Brody was NOT ready to leave. He threw another epic (naked) tantrum all the way back to the room. I can't imagine why that group didn't want to get on the elevator with us, there was plenty of room...

Saturday we had lots of visitors! Mark and Lisa and their boys came over as did my parents. Aaron, Lisa and I went skiing and snowboarding while Mark and the grandparents watched the kiddos. (Mark isn't cleared for skiing yet from the neurosurgeon). We had a great time and it was fun to be back on the slopes again! We came back to the room and had some tacos with the grandparents and then they took off. After dinner we bundled up the kiddos and took them outside for some smores at a snowy bonfire and a sleigh ride. How lucky is Jacob to get two sleigh rides in two days?? Mason and Austin both fell asleep on the ride, it was so cute! After the kids went to bed, we played some Euchre and then Mark and Aaron went out to enjoy the blizzard at the bonfire. They warmed up with a drink at the bar before coming back to the room and then Aaron and I went off to the bar to enjoy a nightcap together before calling it a night.

The Hilley family left Sunday morning and we just laid around watching football, reading, watching the crazy blowing snow and ordering room service! We hit up the waterpark once again and this time planned it so that we would stay until close thinking that Brody would be slightly more eager to leave if they shut everything off and kicked us out. Nope, he was still furious that we were leaving but at least this time he settled down by the time we reached the elevators.

Today has been another lazy day. The waterpark is closed today (and tues and weds), so we will spend our day at the indoor/outdoor pool, maybe ice skating and maybe take the boys snowboarding on the bunny hill.

Tomorrow we will head into town (weather permitting) so that I can attend a Christmas luncheon at the Church and Jacob can go to school. We'll see - we have only received about 6" here and I think the wind has died down a bit. Sounds like we received over a foot of new snow at our house so hopefully someone will take care of our driveway for us!